My mother, sister, and I went out for the day and I was actually able to enjoy myself for most of it. There were a few times where things got a bit iffy, but overall I came out unscathed and pretty much emotionally stable. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll stick around for a while longer. You guys are so supportive and it honestly means the world to me. I think I might attempt to work things out for a little while, but with less emphasis on weight loss and whatnot. I’ll be around, but probably not nearly as much as I usually am.
Balance is something I really need to work on. Not just in regards to my weight, but my life in general: my mental heath, work, relationships, etc. I think that’s really where I struggle the most. But thanks to a couple of awesome people on here, I have some new ideas on how to work through this. Hopefully this means I’m here to stay for a while.
I hope everyone had a wonderful day, and again I sincerely appreciate all of your love and advice <3
And I have to say, I’m loving how I’m feeling after these videos. The past two mornings after I’ve done a bedtime yoga practice I have woken up feeling rested and relaxed the next day, without that horrible morning dread that I’ve grown so used to. I need to keep up with this.
One of my efforts toward my health this month. I’m still having some serious problems with food and eating, but that doesn’t mean I should completely abandon my goals. Lately I’ve been wanting to get more involved in yoga, so that’s a big goal I have this month. I also need to start moving more in general, and I think walking will be a nice way to ease myself back into things. So on this calendar I will be scribbling in pink on the days that I do a yoga practice, and blue on the days that I walk for at least half an hour. My goal by the end of the month is to have at least 15 pink scribbles and 15 blue ones. Let’s see how this works out.
Just broke out my yoga mat for the first time in far too long. Found a wonderful hour-long video titled “Reclaim Your Joy!” and went for it. The instructor was wonderful and I feel pretty good right now. I’m really looking forward to practicing along with more of her videos :) Now I’m off to work!
So I’ve decided that you guys are still going to have to deal with my sassy post-workout face. I originally decided I wasn’t going to post anything weight loss related on this blog in light of creating my new one. BUT since I need to start incorporating fitness into my everyday life rather than just regarding it as a separate part of my life, I think I’ll keep posting workout, health, and NSV related things. Just less weight loss and scales and numbers and whatnot. So yeah. There’s that ;)
Working out sucks when you haven’t done it in six months.
I spend half my day insanely motivated to work out, eat healthy, and get back on track, and the other half eating crap I know I shouldn’t be and wallowing in self-pity.
January 22nd: 271.7 lbs January 30th: ???? Loss this week: ????
As I said above, and as this lovely stock photo illustrates, scales are fucking useless. This wasn’t my best week, and I have admitted that. I exercised quite a bit and counted calories for a few days, but I also ate out way too much (most of which was Subway and Moe’s). So when I stepped on my digital scale this morning, I was prepared to see that I didn’t lose anything or even that I gained a pound or two. Instead, I step on the scale and it read 279 pounds, meaning I have supposedly gained 8 pounds since last Tuesday. I checked it three times, and each time the number was right around 279. Two years ago, I would have been instantly convinced that I really had gained 8 pounds of fat, and I’m sure some kind of self-destructive behavior would have followed. Today, I chocked it up to eating tons of high sodium food and not drinking enough water in the past week.
Then I remembered that this particular scale has been giving me trouble lately, and never seems to be quite right. If I went and checked my weight again now, it would probably be a few pounds different than it was only an hour ago. So I went into the bathroom and stepped on our old analog dial scale for a second opinion. What did it read? Right about 270, maybe 271. 271 pounds. Not the 279 that my digital scale read. I know there’s some room for normal error in these kinds of things, but that’s not just a bit of a difference; that’s 8 pounds.
Right now I’m not really sure what to do. I’m not overly confident about either reading, and I don’t want to mess up my numbers. So for now I’m going to leave this week blank and see what next week brings. I’m really upset that I can’t seem to get one solid reading out of these scales. And I know in the long run the number on the scale doesn’t matter. But I want to get myself steadily losing weight again, and it’s so hard when I don’t know what my body is doing from week to week.
I apologize for the length of this; it ended up being more of a rant than anything. But yeah…
